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[Sep. 15th, 2005|10:01 am] |
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im very stressed out today |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|07:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | rilo kiley | ] |
yea so today was the second day of school and im sick of it already
it was nice to see some people again an stuff but i just cannot wait for this year to be over so i can go away
i guess most of my classes are going to be ok except for maybe ms. burke's because she doesn't like me and i managed to not do the two essays that i was supposed to over the summer (isn't that a great way to start the year off)
anyways im tired from getting up early two days in a row..i cant wait until i have a car then i can get up like 45 minutes later
thats basically it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|05:03 pm] |
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ok so i was just told that im leaving to go to boston in like an hour and wont be back until like monday night...i love how im told stuff ahead of time |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|09:41 pm] |
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being at home fucking sucks....i hate my mother...uggh nevermind whats the use of complaining anyway nothing ever changes |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2005|01:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | imogen heap | ] |
yea so i was supposed to be going to new york today because a lot of people from my acting thing are having a party, but my mom ended up not letting me go which really sucks because if i went then i deffinatley would have been able to stay for a few days and have fun before coming home again...uggh i wish i just lived in the city everything would be so much easier then, i also wish that my mom would just like not ever talk to me but whatever im done complaining about it because i cant do anything |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2005|10:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ben folds five | ] |
well this entry is probably going to end up being really long and it probably won't make any sense but whatever i'm still going to write it. so saturday was officially my last day of my program at vassar and we we were supposed to leave on sunday so on saturday my mom called me and told me that she would be picking me up at 9 in the morning on sunday and that i better be ready and have all my shit packed n stuff...so saturday night since it was our last night we had a huge party n shit and because i'm stupid i smoked and drank a lot and finally got to by bed somehow around like six in the morning...so at nine my parents walk into my room i'm like asleep in my clothes, i have shot glasses stiting on my dresser and my cigarettes and lighter are sitting in my purse which is open and my door was also unlocked even though my mom told me like all the time that i was supposed to keep my door locked...so yea i told her that the cigarettes were for a play and that the shot glasses wern't mine n shit but i still got in a lot of trouble (i really don't think that she believes me either)...and then today i did everything i possibly could do wrong even without trying to and i made her even more mad at me
yea so i miss everyone from my thing already it sucks to go from having no rules and living with like all your friends and doing whatever the fuck you want to going back to being at home...my friend ariana tells me that i should go live with her in new york because she has a nice apartment n shit that she just bought like six months ago, that would be fucking awesome if i could actually do that, but i would never be able to so i should not even think about it
damn it sucks to be home |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|07:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ani difranco | ] |
so instead of memorizing all my lines for the various things i have to do i decided to update instead because i haven't in a while. I'm still away at my theatre program, and its awesome. Its half high school kids and half college kids so its cool cuz most of the college kids can buy shit for me. I dont think i have ever smoked and drank lol its so much fun...but yea anyway its really tiring being here because i have shit to do from like nine in the morning until at least nine or ten at the earliest every night...basically i just don't sleep anymore...its worth it though because i'm having fun and i dont have to be at home which is awesome...I can't wait until i'm in college...well i'm going to go have a beer and try and memorize my lines
<3
Lauren |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|02:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ani difranco | ] |
so instead of memorizing all my lines for the various things i have to do i decided to update instead because i haven't in a while. I'm still away at my theatre program, and its awesome. Its half high school kids and half college kids so its cool cuz most of the college kids can buy shit for me. I dont think i have ever smoked and drank lol its so much fun...but yea anyway its really tiring being here because i have shit to do from like nine in the morning until at least nine or ten at the earliest every night...basically i just don't sleep anymore...its worth it though because i'm having fun and i dont have to be at home which is awesome...I can't wait until i'm in college...well i'm going to go have a beer and try and memorize my lines
<3
Lauren |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2005|11:01 pm] |
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so i am at my acting camp thing at vassar right now and i brought a laptop with me but i cannot get the internet to work so i have to use the shitty computers that are on campus...anyway i like it so far except for the fact that my whole room is really really hot which sucks but yea there are actually some really cool people here i wasnt sure if there would be so im glad that there are people i like...we have like no rules here so we can go wherever we want n do whatever we want which is awesome...and we're going out in like ten minutes so i have to go |
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[Jun. 14th, 2005|10:48 pm] |
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ok so i finally finished packing which took me like over 3 hours...but i'm finally done, so yea i'm leaving tomorrow in the afternoon and i won't be back until july 31 wow that's a long time but i'm excited...and even though i'm so glad that i am going away and getting away from everything here there are still people that i am going to miss....i'm going to take my dad's laptop so i'll still be able to talk to people n stuff and i'll have my phone so everyone has to call me! lol...so now i need to go finish up some shit and clean my room uggh |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|12:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
i got my license!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|08:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | my head hurts | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | le tigre | ] |
( bored ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2005|08:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | uggh | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | anna nalick | ] |
i was going to go to christine's foam party thing tonight but my mom is being a bitch and making me stay home to babysit my brother...so my night is going to suck |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2005|10:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ani difranco | ] |
school is officially over
summer is starting which means that i am going to forget about everything that has ever happened in the past and i'm going to start over and be different and not care about stupid shit that i know i shouldn't care about
i leave in 14 days and i can't wait...the only thing that sucks is that since im going to my acting thing i can't go to Poland, i have to wait until next year to go again...oh well i shouldn't complain cuz i really am glad that i'm going to the acting thing
so yea whatever i have nothing else to say |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|09:42 pm] |
Apprehensions
There is this white wall, above which the sky creates itself --
Infinite, green, utterly untouchable.
Angels swim in it, and the stars, in indifference also.
They are my medium.
The sun dissolves on this wall, bleeding its lights.
A grey wall now, clawed and bloody.
Is there no way out of the mind?
Steps at my back spiral into a well.
There are no trees or birds in this world,
There is only sourness.
This red wall winces continually:
A red fist, opening and closing,
Two grey, papery bags --
This is what i am made of, this, and a terror
Of being wheeled off under crosses and rain of pieties.
On a black wall, unidentifiable birds
Swivel their heads and cry.
There is no talk of immorality amoun these!
Cold blanks approach us:
They move in a hurry.
-Sylvia Plath |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2005|03:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | new belle & sebastian cd! | ] |
so today was the first day of exams math was first which i did bad on but whatever i dont really care anymore...after that i walked around elmwood with christine and pauline we saw these guys on their roof having a "pool party" they were gross and they kept talking to us it was pretty funny...then i had to take my chem exam which wasnt that hard...so yea i have nothing else to say this was a pointless entry |
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| Emptiness has its solace in that there's nothing left to take. - Ani DiFranco |
[May. 28th, 2005|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bright eyes | ] |
why can't I just be happy like everyone else is? I mean, nothing bad is happening in my life right now per say, but I'm not happy and i don't know how to be
i hate feeling...i wish that i didn't ever have to feel anything because it sucks
everything is so screwed up and i don't have anyone i can talk to about it
fuck i am such an idiot |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2005|03:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | relieved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | belle & sebastian | ] |
today was the last day of school im so fucking happy |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2005|09:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | andrew bird | ] |
I cannot wait for this year to be over
Maybe when i come back from being away over the summer everything will be different and i will forget about my past and i'll be able to start over...but i dont know if that will ever really happen
Today i was thinking about how im going to major in theatre in college and i realized that im never going to like have a job if i do that, i mean i know i say all the time that im gonna be like famous or whatever but i can't believe that i actually fooled myself into believing that...the thing is i don't know what i would do if i didnt go to school for acting i mean i do love it n stuff and im not like good at anything else...so i don't know what to do
( Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing. ) |
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